The psychology of lies - how to understand that a person is lying, and how to learn to lie and not blush? How to learn to lie well How to lie

Telling the truth is not always profitable, so many people are ready to learn tricks that allow you to circle the interlocutor around your finger.

Becoming a professional liar is not as easy as it seems. You will have to make a lot of effort to master the art of deception.

When a person is mistaken, anyone can notice it, when he is lying, not everyone will notice it.
Goethe Johann

1. Find a good reason to lie

The secret of successful lying is quite simple: lie as little as possible, when you feel an urgent need for it.

A liar with experience keeps his weapon secret and uses it in exceptional cases, when he realizes that the very moment has come when he can use deception to gain.

Remember that the reputation of a respectable person is the very treasure that makes it possible to speak a lie with almost impunity.

2. The legend should be thought out in advance

Agree, it is quite difficult to invent a fiction on the go, when all eyes are on you.

There is another way to build a solid foundation of lies: look for accomplices. So, for example, a friend who will confirm that you were at work until the end while the director is on a business trip, that you are waiting for your aunt, who wants to come to your house and pick up her underwear left in the bathroom.

3. Use the truth

The hardest thing to reveal is a lie that cannot be distinguished from the truth. By and large, you are telling the truth, but the opponent is sure of the opposite. This is a method of partial concealment of any information.

In some cases, the method of direct onslaught works. Allegedly joking, you talk about what they are trying to convict you of. So, for example, when asked by your girlfriend where you have been for so long after work, answer her that you were just in the bathhouse with her best friends. It has been found that the most convincing liars are those who can anticipate any questions.

WikiReference:
(delicate lie, lie of "good tone") - a lie that, in the opinion of the speaker, will provide the listener with significant relief, and if its falsity is revealed, it will bring only a slight inconvenience. White lies are usually spoken so as not to offend or upset anyone; for example, a not-too-attractive girl is told that she is "very good."

4. Use more details

Having the details ensures that you will be more trusted. So, for example, the interlocutor may not believe that you were stuck in the elevator for 1.5 hours, so you did not come to the meeting. But why does he tell in this case that the called locksmith hummed a specific song.

5. Don't be afraid to slander yourself

Beginner liars are usually justified by hackneyed and ridiculous fabrications about an employee who is sick or that his bus was in an accident.

People can't stand such excuses. It's hard enough to believe someone who tries to seem more disinterested than you. Thus, when you have to lie, the lie must make your persona look unfavorable to you.

6. You need to lie smoothly

Telling a lie is actually not so easy. You need to have an excellent memory, logical thinking and be a professional storyteller. As a rule, liars are caught on trifles. Watch the chain of your lies and do not lose the thread of the conversation.

7. Own yourself

It is noticed that deceivers stutter, rub their noses, do not look into the eyes. However, experienced liars thoroughly control themselves and their emotions. We also note that the level of trust in the interlocutor depends not so much on the information that they hear, but on the credibility of how they present it.

8. Step on when you've been caught lying

So for years you have been deceiving the man. And suddenly he has irrefutable evidence of your lies in his hands. What to do in such situations? There's really nothing to lose anymore. All you need is to buy a little time in order to think over a new tactic of behavior.

Go on the offensive. Let's say your girlfriend found correspondence on social networks with representatives of the opposite sex. Of course, she will demand an explanation.

Never confess your sins. On the contrary, accuse her of not having the right to read your correspondence and that she does not care about you at all. Try to turn the conversation in a different direction in order to deprive the interlocutor of peace of mind and self-righteousness.

"I don't trust you! You are all lying!” — internet meme 2014-2017

Psychologists believe that absolutely truthful people do not exist. Each of us has to lie - from time to time or often. Interestingly, when communicating with loved ones, we lie just as often (if not more often) than when communicating with strangers. Whether it’s a harmless lie (“darling, your cake turned out great, it just got a little burnt”) or a serious lie (“I worked all night, I didn’t go to the women”) - we are now interested in the very fact of lying. Psychologist Robert S. Feldman will help us deal with lies

We arrogantly believe that it is impossible to deceive us, that we easily recognize lies

We are wrong. We are very easy to deceive, especially if it is done by a talented liar. Research conducted by R. Feldman showed that the most popular children at school were those who knew how to lie beautifully and cheerfully and invent all sorts of stories! And if so, it is worth learning from them. how to lie correctly.

LIE ONLY WHEN IT IS REALLY NECESSARY

If you do not lie constantly, your reputation as a person who can be trusted will not suffer. Do not trade on trifles, lie only in a big way. Keep a reserve of lies in case when it is impossible to do without it. So, rule 1: the less often, the better.

MIX TRUTH AND FALSE IN ONE BOTTLE

If truthful and obvious facts are embellished with a little lie, it will never occur to anyone to doubt the veracity of your words. Rule 2: if you don't want to run into a direct question about lies, mix lies with the truth.

BE PREPARED TO FAILURE

Evaluate your strengths and capabilities, but even more carefully - evaluate the result of failure. What are the consequences of lying if you fail? Is the game worth the candle? How much will you hurt yourself if you fail? Rule 3: carefully weigh all the pros and cons.

DOUBTS OUT

After weighing all the circumstances, you realized that the moment had come when it was necessary to lie. In order not to be declassified, put doubts aside, because a person tormented by internal doubts becomes “transparent”. Rule 4: do not hesitate to lie so lie!

CAREFULLY PROCESS YOUR LIES

Improvisation has no place here. All the details must be thought out in advance, if necessary, rehearsed. And then it will be easier for you to make the lie look like the truth, as if you are just “remembering” a true story. Rule 5: stick to the chosen version

Now you will learn a terrible thing. Just don’t grab your head in despair and don’t put yourself in front of a rhetorical question: how to live on? Live as you lived, but already armed with the knowledge that has been available to psychologists for a long time. The conversation is about ordinary human lies.

So, it is established that during the day each, mind you, each person deceives others at least 20 times. I mean petty lies. People are cunning, dodging, coming up with some non-existent reasons, deeds, that is, nothing serious. But the fact is there.

A person misleads others, pursuing some personal gain. And this, to put it mildly, is ugly. Moreover, bosses and subordinates, parents with many children and honored teachers, church ministers and even order bearers were noticed in unseemly deeds. Only those who are in intensive care do not lie. But everyone understands that they are simply not up to it. Others sin all day long.

It goes without saying that not everyone manages to lie convincingly and believably. So let's be objective. Since the whole world is subject to this craze, then let's deceive others so that they will never guess about it.

It is not at all difficult to learn how to lie beautifully, with inspiration and at ease. To do this, you need to meet only 3 conditions. The first is to sincerely believe in your own lies. The second is to have a very good memory. Third, try to always tell half-truths. Now let's take a closer look at each of the conditions.

So, in order to be believed unconditionally, you must be convincing. And this is possible only if you believe in what you say. For example, you urgently need to leave, but they may not let you go at work, since the reason for leaving is insignificant. Rummage through your memory, remember everyday situations from the near past. Something after all was important and urgent. That is what needs to be timed for today.

It is not at all difficult to restore that psychological mood and replay the event that has gone into oblivion in the smallest detail. In this case, the lie will be very convincing. After all, you will tell the truth, only a little displaced in time. But such a trifle should be immediately thrown out of your head so that it does not interfere with communication with management.

A real master of lies is so capable of believing in a fictional story that he completely becomes comfortable with it. For this, it is not at all necessary to have the talent of an artist. It is quite enough to convince yourself that in this case a lie is good. It is really very important for you to do something, and an honest and frank conversation will not help here. After all, everyone sees the world from their own bell tower. And if for you the problem is global, then for others it is an insignificant trifle. This is what makes people deceive each other.

But let's move on to the second condition. This is without which a virtuoso and beautiful lie is impossible. You convinced others of something. They trusted you unconditionally. For example, you are inspired to tell colleagues at work that you have an older brother who lives in Argentina. He is very rich and you visit him regularly. At the same time, your stories are always filled with the smallest details about a distant exotic country. Weather, prices, local customs. All information is scooped up on the Internet, but who knows about it except you.

But one day something terrible happens. Your brother, who actually lives, say, in the village of Dobryshkino, Ryazan region, gets pneumonia. You, having forgotten about Argentina a hundred times, run to your boss and, with tears in your eyes, ask him for a week at your own expense. The deception, of course, is exposed. As a result, the trust of colleagues is completely lost. Therefore, in any situation, it is necessary to remember the smallest details of your lie, so as not to be in an awkward situation.

People are not as simple as they seem. If they are interested in something, they keep it in their memory for a very long time, and any statement that does not correspond to previous information immediately raises many questions. Therefore, a lie, especially a long-term one, must be treated with a sense of high responsibility. Considering it fun is a big mistake.

And finally, the third condition. To make a lie look as convincing as possible, you need to add a piece of truth to it. This rule is followed by all the intelligence agencies of the world. When they need to misinform the enemy, they always “dilute” false information with genuine information. So God himself ordered the liars and liars to learn the basics of intelligence work. There is no bad advice.

An ideal option when the truth can be easily verified. Then the rest of the information, which is an outright lie, will not raise any doubts. At the same time, for conversations where you have to deceive a lot, you need to prepare carefully. You can't think others are dumber than you. It is possible that your interlocutors know how to lie much better. This option must be taken into account. Therefore, it is desirable to have as much truth as possible, and that it "lie on the surface."

Want to learn how to lie like a spy? Then these tips are for you.

Believe in your skills

One of the easiest ways to let out that you are not telling the truth is to lose confidence in yourself and convince yourself that the person you are lying to knows that you are not giving him the truthful answers. In fact, there's a good chance he doesn't have a clue, and if you believe in yourself, you'll be able to successfully lie. People, on average, correctly identify lies only 50 percent of the time.

Stick to your story

This may seem obvious, but even the smallest correction you make on the fly to the story is likely to arouse suspicion in a skeptical listener. If you change something in your original story, you will create a contentious situation and also undermine your credibility. Even the wildest lie can be accepted as "possible truth" if you are consistent with your story.

Make your lies believable

In most cases, people automatically assume that you are telling the truth, but only if your lies are believable. Make sure your lies are realistic and you will be more likely to convince the person you are talking to that you are not lying. Lie about your age within five years, your height within five centimeters, and your salary within five thousand, and no one will ever catch you.

Try not to know what you don't want to tell

Professional poker players often limit themselves to information so as not to accidentally reveal any secret. For example, a professional poker player may not even look at the cards until it is his turn, so that players who should have acted earlier cannot see his subconscious reactions to the cards and use this information. Similarly, they may choose not to look at the cards on the table until their turn time is up, instead concentrating on observing other players.

Keep your mouth shut

Another effective way to avoid being caught in a lie is to cut back on what you say. Communicate only what you absolutely need to communicate, thereby reducing the likelihood that you will say something suspicious, or that your body language will give you away. If you are playing poker with a sophisticated opponent, you should try to keep the information you give him to a minimum. Instead of trying to fool someone, you'd better minimize the amount of information you give out.

Repetition is the mother of learning

Body language is often more of a lie than all the words you speak, so just as you should try to minimize communication, try to do the same with your body language. Act naturally, but limit your movements. In general, poker is a game of information, and the more information you give your opponents, the more likely they are to make a good decision.

Build the Foundation of Truth

If you are going to lie, you should try to ensure that as many details in your story as possible are true. The foundation of your story and most of the facts must be true, as well as what you know very well yourself.

Lightness is the key to success

If you become defensive, this is the easiest way to show that you have something to hide. If the person you're talking to asks you questions about your story, try to respond in an easy, fun, and nonchalant way. If you are asked questions, smile. This instantly reduces tension and makes you completely innocent in the eyes of other people.

Breathe

Fidgeting, swallowing frequently, or showing general tension are typical non-verbal behaviors that betray liars. And what is the easiest way to control all such reactions? Breathe evenly. If you breathe slowly and deeply, you can get rid of anxiety. It will also help you with your sweaty palms and dry throat that cause you to swallow frequently.

Be present in the present moment

By being present in the present moment and focusing on the conversation, you can lower your blood pressure and stop your eyes from wandering around the room. If you can keep your full concentration on the person you are communicating with without being distracted by other things, the information you convey will seem more congruent and believable.

Stick to the topic

Liars often change the subject when they are caught in a lie. People who tell the truth do not stop talking about a particular topic until they convince the person who accused them of lying that they were not lying. Liars, on the other hand, change the subject and end the conversation, while motivating that, for example, they do not want to talk about it.

Avoid categorical statements

Just like changing the subject, liars usually tend to either oversimplify or make categorical statements. For example, "I would never lie" or "I'm not that kind of person" are defensive phrases you might hear from someone who isn't being honest with you.

Make sure that it is impossible to confirm that your data is false

Don't offer facts that can be easily verified to be false. For example, if you say you were late because of a traffic accident, a couple of questions and checking the condition of the road on your route can instantly show that you are lying.

Maintain eye contact

You need to be able to "sell" your lies. To do this, maintain eye contact, as well as keep the correct posture. If you look away, your shoulders droop, or you fidget, this can be interpreted as a sign of nervousness or a lack of self-confidence.

Control your expression

Likewise, you shouldn't change your facial expression too quickly or too drastically if you want to be believed. It is best not to change facial expressions at all. If you yourself believe that the person you are talking to believes in your lie, and smile about it, this can give away your lie.

In our imperfect world, it is almost impossible to survive if you do not lie at all and speak only the truth.

Unfortunately, the world is not perfect and nothing can be done about it.

So what you have to learn how to learn to lie.

In addition, after all, there is also a lie to the rescue, who, if not women, should know that it is simply necessary to be able to lie, and it is necessary to be able to do this extremely convincingly.

So, today we will talk about how to learn to lie truthfully.

1st rule of how to lie truthfully

In order to believe in your lies, so that no one has any doubts about your sincerity, you yourself must believe in your lies. You must, like a good actor, get used to your role, believe in what you say. Only by learning to believe in your own lies, you will understand how to learn to lie. Pay attention to politicians, they lie so selflessly that it is simply impossible not to believe them. So, learn to believe in your own lies, this will help you get others to believe in it too.

2nd rule of the science of lying

Sight. This is one of the most important points. It is simply necessary to look at the interlocutor correctly in order to learn to lie truthfully. No wonder everyone knows that a liar's eyes always "run". So, when you lie, look at the interlocutor boldly and openly. Look into the eyes and face.

Remember that when you lie, in no case do not look into the eyes of the interlocutor without looking up - this is a sign of aggressive intentions, the interlocutor will feel uncomfortable and it may not work to lie. Look into the interlocutor's eyes, then shift your gaze to his lips, then to his nose, and again to his eyes - alternate and avoid staring.

You will have to learn how to look at the interlocutor in this way if you want to lie truthfully. The fact is that such a look into the eyes and face on a subconscious level convinces the interlocutor that they are not lying to him, but are telling the truth. A correct view is half the battle in the science of correct lies.

3rd rule of art how to lie

When you learn to lie, watch your feet. The fact is that a lie causes a certain internal tension in a liar, because a lie is struggling with the “honest” part of your consciousness. In order to relieve internal tension, a person involuntarily creates unnecessary movements with his legs.

For example, when a person lies, he tends to cross his legs, move the toes of his shoes, twitch his legs, in general, he makes a bunch of absolutely unnecessary and meaningless leg movements, by which an experienced interlocutor will quickly guess that learn to lie you didn't succeed. Therefore, always watch your legs, do not move them unnecessarily, suppress these reflexes in yourself.

4th rule of how to learn to lie convincingly

When you learn to lie, remember that the toes of the liar's shoes should always face the interlocutor who needs to be deceived. That is, your interlocutor should be the center of two imaginary straight lines that are drawn from the legs of the liar.

The fact is that such an arrangement of the legs of a liar, when the toes of the shoes look at the interlocutor, he - the interlocutor, subconsciously interprets, as a manifestation of sincerity, truthfulness, enthusiasm for the topic. So, this is an important factor to consider when you learn to lie correctly, which will help on a subconscious level.

Rule 5 of True Lies

It is necessary to lie, to learn in a loud and confident voice, with fanaticism in the eyes, so that no one has any doubts about the truth. A liar needs such a voice no less than a correct look when lying. Also remember that when you lie, do not correct and do not make any edits, this will undermine the confidence in the veracity of what was said, even if it is the pure truth.

6th rule how to lie correctly

Remember that when you learn to lie, and later, when you actually apply the knowledge gained in practice, you need to keep your head straight and even.

7th rule of correct lying

When you lie, remember about gestures. Too many liars are betrayed by too violent gestures, especially hand movements near the face and ears.

The interlocutor will easily guess that you are lying if you cover your mouth with your hand, pull your hair, break your fingers, rub your chin, nose, etc. Pay attention to your gestures at the moment when you are telling the truth and try to transfer it to a lie.

8th rule of good lies

Watch your hands when you lie not only at face level, but also at chest levels - this also betrays a liar. Crossing your arms in front of your chest (defensive position), tapping your fingers on the tabletop, twirling your cell phone in your hands can all give you away when you're lying.

9th rule how to learn to lie correctly

Smile. She can betray you. Don't try to fake a smile when you're lying. The fact is that a “real” smile, in addition to the tension of the muscles of the lips, is always accompanied by the tension of the muscles around the eyes, but not when they lie. So, it's easy to spot a fake smile.

10th rule (thin moments) learning to lie

When you lie, not only external signs of anxiety can give you away, but also certain speech turns. You just need to learn how to get around these pitfalls. Very often, a liar gives out that he uses speech turns that make him confirm that the interlocutor believes him.

For example, “you believe me,” etc. When you learn to lie, also remember that you are given out and phrases that are designed to convince your interlocutor of your truthfulness - “well, why should I lie”, etc.

Also, the interlocutor is alarmed at the subconscious level by the phrases with which you are trying to get closer to the interlocutor at the moment of lying - “You know me like no one else”, etc. Also, when you learn to lie, remember that rudeness and rudeness also indicate that a person is a liar.

The 11th Rule of the Science of Right Lies

Little things. They killed a lot of people who did not want or could not learn to lie. The fact is that most liars, when they lie, do not go into details, there are no specifics in their stories.

In order to learn how to lie correctly, remember that it is imperative to sprinkle your lies with a sufficient number of small details and details.

12th rule of art how to lie

When you try to learn how to lie correctly, remember that it is easiest to believe in a lie if there is at least a little truth in it. However, this applies to petty lies, but if you are going to lie on a global scale, then another rule works - the more ridiculous and "false" a lie is, the more willingly they will believe in it.

That's all the rules of correct lying. To lie or not is the personal choice of everyone, it is better to do without lying, of course. But, even if you decide to tell only the truth all your life, it is simply necessary to learn to lie, if only in order to understand when you will be deceived. And one last rule - how to learn to lie- remember that not only you read this article :)